


Fractures of the Heart

by kipsi



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 20:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6439132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kipsi/pseuds/kipsi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I've lost my partner," Leonard started, his voice growing cold and harsh, "thanks to you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fractures of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WacheyPena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WacheyPena/gifts), [dumb_fallen_angel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumb_fallen_angel/gifts).



> Thank you Wachey for helping with the title. Also thank you too Ro for giving me the boost to write this, this is for you two.

Leonard's head was killing him, the stabbing pain something that he hadn't felt in a while - at least not this immensely. Headaches weren't unusual to him, on the contrary, actually. But usually he was able to keep his cool, was able to not get so worked up. Not get so tense that all of his muscles were screaming at him, his shoulders tight, his jaw clenched. Everything just so stiff it hurt.

It was only natural that he would have a headache this bad after the shitty day he had had to deal with. All of the emotions that had surfaced, ones that he was usually able to control. Yet this time couldn't. Not when it was about Mick. Never when it was about Mick, really.

They had been a part of each other's lives for so long, knowing one another so well. Being a team. A family, even. The three of them. Him, Mick and Lisa.

It had already hurt leaving Mick behind, having to knock him out and hope for the best. That he'd be able to go and get him back after Mick would've cooled down.

Only to find out what'd happened to him when he'd been too slow?

Leonard felt the bile rising to his throat once again just thinking about it. How he'd failed his partner, practically tortured him himself. Left him to the Time Masters to brainwash. Made him go through hell.

It didn't matter that he hadn't known, couldn't have known just how fast time passed. He'd still been the one to betray Mick, made him hate him. And he deserved that hate, all of it, even though it hurt. Pierced him so deeply that it was hard to breathe.

And it didn't get better.

Time passed.

Minutes, hours.

It still hurt.

He wished that his hand hadn't been reconstructed. He'd been ready to sacrifice it in the first place, had come to terms with it when icing it. No matter how precious his hands were to him, it had been a sacrifice he'd been ready to make. For Mick.

At least the pain would be somewhere else, then. On the stump that no longer existed, and not inside his chest, squeezing uncomfortably, making him ball his fists and hit the wall.

Again.

And again.

It hurt.

But it also felt good.

Yet it felt strange, he decided as he inspected his right hand, the one that had been regenerated. It was as if nothing had even happened. The whole experience nullified.

It made Leonard angry, his blunt nails digging into his palms, the pain there more pleasant and welcome than inside him.

His fist collided with the wall for the fifth time, his knuckles bleeding when he dropped to his bed, head in his hands.

It was one of the first time in years when he cried.

 

**

 

The next day wasn't any better.

Or the day after that.

Despite that, Leonard went to the deck where they were keeping Mick locked in and tried to talk to him. Get somehow through to him.

Only to be regarded with wrath, Mick spitting at him and threatening him. Threatening Lisa.

Every word was like a stab, digging deeper into Leonard, making it hurt more. He knew that he deserved it, but never his sister.

It pained him, seeing Mick like this, after knowing him for so long, knowing how he actually was. Knowing how well he actually got along with Lisa. Never having thought that he'd want to hurt him or her intentionally.

Leonard couldn't sleep, could barely eat.

He looked like hell every morning when he looked at his own reflection in the mirror.

Everyone on the team threw concerned looks at him but he ignored them and made his way dutifully to Mick, who cursed at him.

The words didn't sting that much anymore, not after so many days had passed. The pain was still there, but the words flowed over him like a current that he had already gotten used to.

 

**

 

It had been a week when Rip motioned Leonard to follow him into his quarters, the man giving him a look before telling him to sit down.

Leonard studied him silently as he took a seat, saw the annoyance and hesitance in Rip's movements as the man walked back and forth for a few times before stopping before the table that stood in between them.

"It seems things aren't going that well with Mr. Rory-" he started, and Leonard narrowed his eyes at him immediately.

"You can can it," Leonard hissed at him and stood up, ready to walk away when Rip held his hands up, trying to look innocent but failing miserably. Leonard glared at him.

"There was something I needed to discuss with you," Rip dropped his hands to his sides and gestured for him to take a seat again.

Len crossed his arms but didn't move from his spot, Rip looking uncomfortable with his decision before he let out a sigh.

"I got a call. Unexpected, no idea how they tracked us," Rip's whole being radiated annoyance as he forced to words out.

"The call is on hold. Take your time," the man sighed, making his way to the door.

"Gideon."

"Very well, Captain," her voice surfaced into the room while Rip closed the door behind him, leaving Leonard alone with the AI.

"You have a call waiting, Mr. Snart. How would you like to proceed?" Gideon asked him, and Leonard decided to move to the chair anyway, taking a seat and telling the AI to go for it.

What he hadn't expected was to hear the familiar, happy voice greeting him. The way it made Len feel, hearing that voice again after so long. His chest was hurting again.

"Hey, Snart, are you there?"

Leonard took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. It seemed almost impossible. The pain, hurt and anger stirring inside of him.

"It's all because of you," he bit out eventually, silence greeting him in turn.

Painful, heavy silence that made the room feel suffocating. Like he was drowning.

But then the kid sounded concerned, as if he cared. It made everything sting worse. Barry's voice filling the room, as if he was there himself.

"What do you mean? What's happened?"

Len couldn't help the bitter chuckle that escaped his lips.

"What does it matter to you anyway, kid? You got what you wanted. Wanted to make me a fucking hero. Should've iced you back then and left Central for good."

He heard the intake of Barry's breath, the way his voice wavered when he demanded to know what had happened.

He wasn't going to hold back if the kid really wanted to know, hell, he deserved to know how he had had a hand in this. It didn't really even matter anymore anyway. Things couldn't really get any worse from here.

"I've lost my partner," Leonard started, his voice growing cold and harsh, "thanks to you."

Barry stammered something but Len ignored him, telling him just how much Mick liked him nowadays. How he wanted to kill everyone. Lisa.

He couldn't stop his voice from cracking when talking about his sister and he hated himself for it, hated how Barry's voice was full of sadness and sympathy, but never pity. Hated how his voice was affecting him, making him feel that overwhelming sadness again. The coldness leaving his tone of its own accord as he told what Mick had went through because of him.

He didn't even realize that his sight had gone blurry until the tears broke free and slid down his cheeks, Barry's voice all the while talking, murmuring soothingly, as if he _knew_.

"It's gonna be okay," he promised over and over again, and Len wanted to hate him for it because there was no way- he couldn't start to hope for things to get better.

"I sacrificed a fucking hand for that bastard," Len mumbled, frustrated, as he got rid of the tears, annoyed at himself for showing weakness to the kid, who stopped talking for a moment until-

"Wait WHAT? YOU LOST A HAND??"

"Was the only way to get rid of the handcuffs, kid. Gotta say I now know just how nice that icy breeze feels like," he smirked, having to admit to himself that talking had actually... helped. A bit.

" _Oh God_ , that's- _I'm so sorry_ ," Barry sounded sincere, as always, the same pained sadness in his tone as before. 

"Doesn't matter anymore, Scarlet. Got my hand back. Apparently Rip had a few aces up his sleeve. Very handy."

"You didn't just-"

"I did."

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking of including Jax telling Len what Rip said to Mick or Rip telling Len himself back there.. but Rip didn't have the guts. Plus Len would've probably wanted to beat him to death so.. uh. Maybe next time.


End file.
